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To Love-Ru DARKNESS chapter 1

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1 To Love-Ru DARKNESS chapter 1 on Mon Oct 04, 2010 11:50 pm

Was told to come here to give feedback, so I'm guessing the feedback section is here. Very Happy

Page 4: There's an untranslated part on the bottom left of the page, not sure if it's significant or not. May also want to leave a small note translating the nametag on the door.

Page 12: Momo's got a untranslated part in second panel, it's probably a small giggle/chuckle or something. Third panel has Rito's boxes with his thoughts, the second one has "..." at the end of the raw, could attach it to the end of the sentence.

Page 18: Yui has a small untranslated part in fourth panel, probably a vocal thing from her since it has "..." on the end rather than a sound effect... but I dunno. Very Happy

Page 19: Lala's "You're so kind <3" in the raw has a "~~" thing there, dunno if you wanna put that in.

Page 28: Momo's missing a question mark on her first speech bubble.

Page 35: Second panel, fifth speech bubble might need a "~~~" before the heart.

Page 42: Bottom panel, both sections of Momo's thoughts need a heart on the bottom of each one to match raw.

Page 45: May want to redraw Momo's clothing in second panel to remove the white block. Third panel needs "..." on the end of Momo's "was Rito-san".

Page 49: Momo's speech is normally a bit more formal than "What's going on you guys!". Maybe reword it a bit to something like "Wha-what's wrong with you all!" I dunno, hehe.

Credits page: Need to change "cxcscans#irchighway.net" to "cxc#irchighway.net". Very Happy

Above all else, I really enjoyed reading it. Great work on cleaning, translation and typesetting. Very Happy


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2 Re: To Love-Ru DARKNESS chapter 1 on Tue Oct 05, 2010 5:16 am

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Serafita wrote:Was told to come here to give feedback, so I'm guessing the feedback section is here. Very Happy

Page 4: There's an untranslated part on the bottom left of the page, not sure if it's significant or not. May also want to leave a small note translating the nametag on the door.

Page 12: Momo's got a untranslated part in second panel, it's probably a small giggle/chuckle or something. Third panel has Rito's boxes with his thoughts, the second one has "..." at the end of the raw, could attach it to the end of the sentence.

Page 18: Yui has a small untranslated part in fourth panel, probably a vocal thing from her since it has "..." on the end rather than a sound effect... but I dunno. Very Happy

Page 19: Lala's "You're so kind <3" in the raw has a "~~" thing there, dunno if you wanna put that in.

Page 28: Momo's missing a question mark on her first speech bubble.

Page 35: Second panel, fifth speech bubble might need a "~~~" before the heart.

Page 42: Bottom panel, both sections of Momo's thoughts need a heart on the bottom of each one to match raw.

Page 45: May want to redraw Momo's clothing in second panel to remove the white block. Third panel needs "..." on the end of Momo's "was Rito-san".

Page 49: Momo's speech is normally a bit more formal than "What's going on you guys!". Maybe reword it a bit to something like "Wha-what's wrong with you all!" I dunno, hehe.

Credits page: Need to change "cxcscans#irchighway.net" to "cxc#irchighway.net". Very Happy

Above all else, I really enjoyed reading it. Great work on cleaning, translation and typesetting. Very Happy



Page 4: The translator decides what's significant and what's not, if it wasn't translated, then it wasn't significant.

Page 12: Seems sorta non-consequential.

Page 18: See page 4 comment.

Page 19: Non-consequential.

Page 28: Non-consequential.

Page 35: Again, non-consequential.

Page 42: You got me on this one.

Page 45: True, but not that important.

Page 49: Got me there.

Credits page: Probably the biggest mistake I've made, why I haven't noticed until now is officially a subject of hilarity and ridicule.

That was refreshing, thanks for the feedback. While I said non-consequential for most of those points, it's mainly just my preference at the time of typesetting and it wouldn't hurt me to take them to heart for the next release, since it doesn't take much to include them.

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